a journal. or blog. i never keep up with them. while talking to my wonderous bridesmaid whom i love and adore (*wave* HI! *wave*), i realized that i have never ever finished an actual journal. nor have i kept up with this blog. the closest i’ve gotten is my #100happydays pictures and posts.
so on behalf of you, my wonderful friend that i’d die without, i have come back to actually write in this almost forsaken blog :)<3
as everyone may have noticed, i have not kept up with the blog very well. HOWEVER, i think i can summarize a lot of things that have been going on in terms of wedding planning. but the main lesson from this entry is:
wedding planning is NEVER EVER JUST about planning a wedding.
there’s regular wedding stuff like:
meeting everyone involved with the wedding
making a schedule for the actual day of. and the day before. and the week before, etc
getting your dress altered
dieting (or pretending to… like yours truly)
making decorations and such
purchasing everything needed for the day
taking care of your skin and hair and nails
etc…etc…etc…
but on TOP of wedding related things:
it’s also looking for a place to live with your significant other.
it’s also looking for a job if that is required.
it’s also keeping up with your everyday life, like family and friends.
it’s also continuing in school (if that is applicable)
it’s also taking care of your mental, physical and emotional health
WHEW.
over the last few months, there have been quite a few instances where i questioned having the type of wedding we are having. these specific situations were horrible because it reminded me of the day i got engaged, and how i thought to myself that we should skip the wedding celebration altogether, and just get married in court… quietly… without people staring at me.
the thought of a large wedding wasn’t off-putting per se. it was just that when i started to think about everyone staring at me as i walked down an aisle… as i said my vows… as i stand at the front… as i do a first dance… etcetc… it made me anxious. actually, it still does.
these tough situations really put my relationships with certain people in a really strange and difficult place. everything is really great and fine, but i came to realize that there are so many things to juggle. how can i juggle them while keeping my mental and emotional health as a priority?
i don’t think i have the perfect answer. but i have an answer that has been working so far. the solution is to tell myself and to truly truly believe that…
i am so blessed. so… beyond belief… blessed.
maybe i didn’t want a wedding. maybe school is stressful. maybe i get into an argument with my parents. maybe the future scares me. but when i tell myself how blessed i am and believe it, i feel ease. because knowing that i am so blessed… makes me so grateful about everything else. nothing seems really that difficult. nothing seems that annoying.
i really am going to miss living in san diego though…
going forward, i shall have more detailed posts. but for now, this is my apologetic post for being so absent. i’ll try harder. i promise 🙂
one year of planning 